Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Scotching it

When I was a teenager, like most young stupid kids just starting out on the road, I was a reckless and inconsiderate driver.  I’d zip in and out of traffic, in between the big rigs, and across several lanes of cars. 

One night I was headed home after an evening of goofing off with my friends and it was modus operandi vulgaris.  I was driving in the passing lane and my exit was coming up.  I waiting until the last possible moment and whizzed across two lanes . . . in front of a tractor-trailor . . . and headed for the exit ramp.  

All of a sudden there was a whoop-whoop and flashing lights behind me.  Like a good citizen, I adjusted my cleavage and pulled immediately onto the shoulder.

The trooper approached and asked me if I knew why he had pulled me over.  DUH yeah!  I feigned innocence.  He informed me that I was driving too fast and that I had cut off a truck.

I started sobbing . . . working the cleavage to full effect . . . and cried that my exit was right there and that I was tired and I just wanted to get home.  He took pity on me and my hooters and instructed me to be  more careful in the future. 

In a word . . . or two . . . I got off scot free.  WOOT!

The origin of the ‘scot’ in scot-free is not as obvious as it would seem.  It does not have its basis in Scottish roots.   In fact, it is a Scandinavian term meaning tax or payment.  The phrase 'scot free' simply refers to not paying one's taxes.

Kind of like me when I was young unopposed to utilizing my . . . uhm . . . feminine wiles to get away with doing stupid things.

Roast Stuffed Chicken and Stuffing

1 Roaster chicken, about 5 pounds
Salt & Pepper or other Seasoning

Spoon stuffing into cavity of chicken; close by sewing or with a piece of foil. 

Rub chicken with butter, season with salt and pepper or your favorite seasonings (if desired). 

Place chicken breast side up on rack in a shallow roasting pan. Roast stuffed chicken at 375° for about 60 to 90 minutes, basting several times. Internal temperature should register 175° when done. 

Let chicken stand for about 15 minutes before slicing.

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