Thursday, August 11, 2011

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Generally speaking, I’m level headed and have a fair share of common sense. However, there have been times in my life when I’ve moments of seriously impaired judgment . . . one of those was on October 5, 1990 . . . there was a voice in my head yelling . . . nay screaming . . . run away, run away . . . why oh why didn’t I listen. . .

Rule #1 . . . always listen to your intuition.

There was a time way before that when I was merely a child . . . a child apparently lacking in rational thought . . . that did something monumentally brainless.

Way back when I was a kid, I lived on top of mountain in the middle of East Bumblef^ck. There wasn’t a great selection of playmates. So, one day I wandered down the road to play with some boys who weren’t the best kids on the mountaintop but it was someone to play with. They were chucking knives at a tree. Okay, that could maybe be fun . . . uh, huh, until one of the boys threw a knife at me and . . . wait, here’s where it gets good . . . I tried to catch it. yeah, not one of my brighter moments but definitely one of my bloodier ones . . . 
I ran all the way home screaming with blood dripping down my arm from the gaping wound in my finger. I still bear the scar of my dim-witted-ness.

Rule #2 . . . don’t be stupid.

So, you think I’d learn from my lesson and not play with sharp objects. Mmm, you’d think.

Fast forward a few years when I was in junior high school. I had bought a novelty switchblade comb. No sooner had I gotten it home that I replace the comb with a long box cutter razor blade. Why? I don’t know . . . kids do stupid stuff . . . its some sort of imperative.

So, I threw my brandy-spankin’ new switchblade in my book bag and off to school I went. I was in study hall and reached into my bag for something or other and came out with a bloody finger with a flap of skin hanging off . . . at some point the blade had popped open. Of course, I couldn’t say anything to the teacher . . . could you imagine being caught at school with a switchblade . . . even way back then?? Yeah, not too bright. Somehow, I managed to get a hall pass to the bathroom without raising suspicion and got myself cleaned up.

Rule #3 . . . see Rule #2

Flash forward 10 years . . . I’m a newlywed (see the first paragraph) and I’m diligently doing my wifely chores by washing dishes. All the pans and plates are drying in the rack . . . that’s right, no dishwasher . . . unless you count me. I started to was the glasses . . . 
I must have been fairly aggressive about it because I was shoving . . . er . . . gently pressing the sponge around the inside of the glass and it shattered. A decent size chunk of glass impaled my hand. It didn’t look to bad, it wasn’t bleeding . . . that is until I removed said shard of glass. Yeah . . . then it bled. I had a gaping maw of a wound . . . not pretty. A few stitches fixed me up all purdy like, but I still have the reminder on my hand to NOT be so forceful while cleaning glasses.

Rule #4 . . . glass IS fragile. (Fragile (fra•jee•lee) is Italian for breakable)

Flash forward another ten years . . . I’m newly divorced (see the first paragraph) and fixing up my new home. I painted, replaced the carpeting and changed some light fixtures. I also decided to change doorknobs and strike plates on all the doors. I had to carve out some of the door and doorframes to get the hardware to fit properly. Can you see where I’m going with this? Yeah, as I’m shaving off some excess wood, my tool slips and I almost shaved off half my finger . . .

Rule #5 . . . tools that shave things are sharp!

Okay, so I’ve flash forwarded almost another ten years . . . I’m thinking I should be avoiding sharp objects.  I should also follow rule #2 more often.

Just sayin’.

Zucchini Breakfast Casserole

2 Cups Cooked Meat, diced, I used leftover roast beef
1 Zucchini, peeled using your Julienne Peeler
1 Red Onion, Diced
4 Cloves of Garlic, minced
1 Cup of Sharp Cheddar Cheese
8 Eggs
2 Tbsp Basil
Salt and Pepper to Taste
4-6 Pieces of Bacon

Preheat oven to 350 Degrees Fahrenheit

Sauté onions and garlic until the onions start to caramelize and then turn off the heat.

In the mixing bowl, combine eggs, cheese, cooked meat, shredded zucchini, basil, and salt and pepper and mix well.  Then add the sautéed onions and garlic and mix well.

Pour your mixture into a greased 9x13 baking dish. Baking for 30 minutes or until cooked through.

While the casserole is baking, cook the bacon until crispy.

Cut casserole and serve with a slice of bacon on top. I topped that with hot sauce . . . because everything is better with hot sauce.


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