Monday, August 1, 2011

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

Way back when I was a wild and crazy girl in my late teens, a group of friends decided to take a trip to sunny Florida for a week.  The plan . . . to do not much of anything . . . swimming, amusement parks, laying in the sun.  The kind of vacation that I can't seem to find time for nowadays.

On the first or second day of our vacation,  while we were hanging out by the motel swimming pool, one of the guys whips out a big honkin' cigar.  Not as big as a Winston Churchill but a pretty good sized stick. 

So there he was, puffing away looking all cool and stuff.  I was fooling around in the pool and got a fantasmic, braniacal idea.  I took a big ol' hit of that ciggy, went under the water and blew some bubbles.  It was awesome . . . when the bubbles broke open on the surface of the water they poofed out cigar smoke.  Everyone agreed it was way cool, so I did it again.  Except this time I must of inhaled or something because I started gagging and instead of smoke coming out of my mouth breakfast did.  No, it was not pretty . . . nor one of my swiftest moves.  

The swimming pool was empty of people in no time flat . . . leaving my scrambled eggs to float about uninterrupted.  Picture the scene from Caddyshack except in an alternate universe the Baby Ruth bar really was a turd and the turd was puke.

Thankfully, it was just me and my friends at the pool and there were no witnesses. 

I did the responsible thing and called the hotel desk.  I said something to the affect that there were a bunch of little kids goofing off in the pool and one of them barfed in the water.  No, I didn't confess it was me . . . 

So, we figured someone would be out to skim, vacuum or some such thing.  But no . . . not only were those in the pool all that day and the next day, but most of the week.

Admittedly, it was somewhat amusing in a sick sort of way to watch other people swimming unawares amongst the chunks.  I just can't believe that no one came out to clean the pool even after I complained about it a second time.

That's it . . . just another fine example of one of my finer moments.  Enjoy!


Jalapeno Popper Grilled Cheese Sandwich

2 Jalapeno Peppers, Cut In Half Lengthwise And Seeded
2 Slices Sour Dough Bread
1 Tablespoon Butter, Room Temperature
1 Tablespoon Cream Cheese, Room Temperature
1/4 Cup Jack And Cheddar Cheese, Shredded
1 Tablespoon Tortilla Chips, Crumbled

Place the peppers on a baking sheet with the cut side facing down. 

Place the baking sheet on the top shelf in the oven and broil until the outer layer of the skin has blackened, about 8-14 minutes.

Place the peppers in a zip-lock bag or other sealable container, seal and let them cool until you can handle them, about 20 minutes.

Remove the skins from the peppers. The skins should easily "pinch" off.

Assemble sandwich and grill until golden brown and the cheese has melted, about 2-3 minutes per side.

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