Friday, February 17, 2012

Firewater Friday - People think you can't be clever if you have breasts

There once was a man from Nantucket . . . no really . . . there was.  But that has nothing to do with this blog post.

What it IS about is two whacked out chicks with impressive chumbawumbas.  Not extraordinary merely for their robust (get it . . . bust) size but for what their gazongas have done for them. 

This is about good jahoobies versus evil knockers.

A Florida woman was recently busted for drivingwhile intoxicated.  But . . . according to her . . .  it wasn’t her alcohol consumption that caused her to recklessly operate her motor vehicle.  Oh no . . . it was her num-nums!

When the police officer informed her that he wanted to perform a field sobriety test she asserted that it would not be possible for her to pass such an examination stating that her “big boobies” 
cause her to be off balance. 

In the official report to police officer wrote, “When I told her we were going to do some roadside tasks she told me that I needed to understand that she is big chested and if I asked her to close her eyes and balance she is not going to balance well," he went on to write "When I told her she had to keep her hands at her side she stated hell no not with these. Telling me again she can't do it, not with her big boobies.”

The fact that she reeked of booze, was staggering around and couldn’t talk straight was reason enough to book her.  That and the glass of “tea” the deputy found in her car that smelled suspiciously like hootch.

She offered to show the policeman her ta-ta’s.  He declined.

In other news, a different woman driver claims her 38KKK hooters saved her from death when she wrecked her car. 

The proud bearer of the world’s largest breast implants claims that her ginormous milkmakers spared her from an early demise by acting as secondary airbags when she lost control of her car and rammed into a tree.

She was cited for operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated and for not wearing a seat belt.   She claims that she does not drink alcohol; however, she admitted to taking drugs for various ailments including backaches . . . you think those back pains may have something to do with the fact that her cha-chas are the size of basketballs?

Hmmm  . . .

Slow Comfortable Screw  

 1 Oz. Vodka
 1 Oz. Southern Comfort
 1 Oz. Sloe Gin
 5 Oz. Orange Juice

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker half-packed with ice. Shake, shake, shake . . . Pour into a glass filled with ice.

People think you can't be clever if you have breasts.
Kelly Brook

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