Thursday, July 28, 2011

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

A man cruised down to the biker bar on his Harley Davidson motorcycle . . . for the purposes of this blog I’ll call him Ziggy . . . where he hung out drinking and shooting pool for several hours . . . way past the time when he told his wife he’d be home.  His wife . . . I’ll call her Donna . . . called the bar looking for him.  The bartender answered the phone and shouted across the barroom . . . “Hey Zig, you’re wife is on the phone.” 

Ziggy exclaimed, “Oh crap!  Tell her I’m not here.  ”.   Of course, all the while the bartender is holding out the phone and Donna can hear him as clear as if he were talking into the mouthpiece.  The bartender sighs and says, “he’s not here”, and proceeds to hang up the phone.

Naturally, this isn’t the first time Ziggy’s tried to pull a fast one on her and, then to add insult to injury, she got hung up on.  Now she’s rip-roarin’ pissed off.  Donna’s not one to just to sit back and let things go, so she heads off to the bar the get her husband.

One of the bikers hanging outside smoking a cigarette recognizes Donna’s car as she pulled into the parking lot.  He popped his head inside and yelled, “hey Ziggy, you’re wife is here.”

Ziggy exclaimed, “Oh crap!” And, instead of facing his petite little darlin’, he crouched down behind the pinball machines to hide. Heh . . . a real manly man, eh?

Donna storms through the door and demands to talk to her husband.  The bartender says, ‘I already told you he wasn’t here, Donna.”

So she says, “Dude, I know he’s here”.   And proceeds to look for him.  She looks under the tables, behind the bar, in the bathrooms and there’s no sign of Ziggy.

The bartender says, “I told you he wasn’t here” as he steers her towards the door and outside.

Donna knows he’s inside the bar somewhere.  She’s not stupid.  After all, his motorcycle is sitting right outside the bar in the parking lot.   

Donna was ticked off before and now she was double . . . nay. . . triply enraged.  She walks right up to the bike and kicks it over.

The bartender, who was still outside waiting for her to leave, yelled inside . . .”Hey, Ziggy, your wife just dumped your bike.”

Ziggy exclaimed, “Oh crap! “

True story . . . Hell hath no fury and all that stuff.


Key Lime Pie

5 egg yolks, beaten
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup key lime juice
1 (9 inch) prepared graham cracker crust

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Combine the egg yolks, sweetened condensed milk and lime juice. Mix well. Pour into unbaked graham cracker shell.

Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes. Allow to cool. Top with whipped topping and garnish with lime slices if desired.

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