Thursday, June 23, 2011

You already have zero privacy - get over it

Pet peeve time . . . do you know what annoys the crap out of me?  Of course you don't, so I'm going to tell you.  I hate it when people use a public bathroom as a private phone booth. 

For those of you who grew up in the 1990’s may not be familiar with this nearly obsolete 20th century necessity.    For the un-initiated and/or clueless . . . a telephone booth is a small structure furnished with a payphone; often, but not necessarily, with a door to provide privacy.   When I was a kid you always carried a dime in your pocket just in case you had to make an emergency phone call.  When I was in high school it was up to a quarter . . . now, mostly everyone has cell phones, hence the obsolescence. 

Besides using a phone booth for making calls, they were once used for a fad called . . . appropriately enough . . .  phonebooth stuffing.  As the name implies, the point was to get as many people into the 80”x32”x32” space as possible.  It was considered "one of the all-time great fads” of 1959 but the craze had come and gone within the year.

Anyhoo, I find it irritating to walk into a public potty room to do . . . uhm . . . you know my thing and to find someone chatting away.  It’s especially annoying when their actually using the toilet and talking at the same time. 

I'm  better about it in my old age, but I've always been self conscious about going to the bathroom with other people around.  It's bad enough to have to use a public bathroom with other people constantly coming in and going out but to have to someone talking on a cell phone while trying to peeps or poops takes the discomfort to a whole new level.

Okay, so there I am  . . . er . . . doing my thing.  I know the sound of my thing is reverberating off the walls of the small room . . . and I know the person on the other end of the call can hear what I’m doing.    

To add a little fun into the mix I bring my phone into the stall with me.  No, not to make an annoying phone call.  There is a whoopee cushion app on my phone that makes some awesome nearly authentic arse muzak.  

Whoopee cushions are fun . . . and the fact that someone took the time and effort to invent one is proof that farts are funny.  And to develop an application to simulate the sounds of a whoopee cushions that emulates that sound of flatulence is further proof.

ANYhoo, so when I’m done doing my thing do I flush?  Do I not flush?  

You know what?  F^ck it . . . I gonna flush dammit.  Let the person on the other end of the phone no where exactly their phone call is made from.  Think about it . . . do YOU want to talk to someone while their pooping?  Ew . . .

Ssplooooooooosssssssssssssshhhhhhh gurgle gurgle gurgle.

Standing by the sink and talking is one thing, but still . . . 

No comments:

Post a Comment