Monday, March 21, 2011

The cow is of the bovine ilk; One end is moo, the other, milk.

Cow tipping began many years ago, when a young boy of the name of Tipper decided to make a cow more comfortable as it slept. Thinking that standing while sleeping was cruel and unusual, he set out one night to give the cow a rest. Tragically, Tipper fell into a thick cow pie as he tried making his way back to his warm bed. He ended up going to the hospital with a severe paranoia of cows. The next day, his family had a big steak dinner.

Cow tipping is the act of sneaking up on a sleeping cow and pushing it over for fun.  Think about the possibility of this being . . . well . . . possible; cows are slow, top-heavy, stupid, and sleep standing up.

It’s easy to assume that cows a few heifers short of a herd; after all, all they seem to do is eat, poo, breed, poo and moo. Whoa . . . slow down on the assumptions there Bessie . . . cows are actually quite aware of their surroundings, even if it seems as though their mulling over the vastness of the universe while endlessly chewing their cud.  That and the fact that the hang out in a herd . . . meaning many . . . so, if one cow happens to be clueless the others aren’t going to let you just walk up and push one of their buddies hoof over udder.

As far as that goes, if you try to knock over a cow by the mere force of your puny body the scales are tipped way in their favor. Have you ever seen a cow?  Been near a cow?  Cows are over five feet tall and weigh over a thousand pounds.  Uhm, that’s pretty darn big.

Cows are actually pretty fast and agile, too.  Have you ever watched a rodeo?  They can kick, jump, charge and send you flying with the toss of their head. And, guess what, they can run faster than the average tipper, too . . . up to 20 miles per hour.

Uh, by the way, cows don’t sleep standing up.  They may doze and chew, chew, chew but they sleep lying down just like you do.  Well, not exactly the way you do . . . 

Cows sleep lying with their front feet folded under and their back legs tucked under them, but so that one of their hips is resting on the ground.  Sometimes they’ll stretch out on their sides and sleep with their feet splayed out.  And, if they are particularly tuckered out, they snore.

Also, it’s an old wive’s tale that cows only lay down if it’s going to rain.  If that was true then it would rain every day twice a day, 365 days a year.  In fact, cows don’t give a moo if they get wet or not.  However, a cow will lay down if it’s tired and needs a nap.

So there it is . . .  cow tipping may sound funny and make for an amusing anecdote but it’s a pretty tough stunt to pull off.  Cow tipping probably originated from tipping drunken cowboys for a laugh.


Cher’s Upside-down Apple Biscuits

  • 2 Cups Self-Rising Flour
  • 1/4 Cup All-Vegetable Shortening, Butter Or Lard
  • 1 1/2 Cup Buttermilk Or Whole Milk

Blend in buttermilk with fork just until the dough comes together. The dough will be looser than regular biscuit dough.

Preheat oven to 350 Degrees F.  Melt

1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter

 in baking dish.  

Peel, core and thinly slice 
2 lb tart apples.  

Mix with 

2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

Pour apple mixture into the pan with the melted butter and pour the bicuit mix over top and spread evenly.  Drizzle 2 Tbsp melted butter over top.

Bake at 350 degrees F for 45-50 minutes or until apples are tender and crust is golden.

Let it cool slightly before slicing and serving.

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