Friday, April 15, 2011

I am only interested in bad taste if I can enjoy a gruesome tango

I remember the first time I got drunk.  Not tipsy, not silly, not fluffy . . .  but rip, roarin', pissin' my pants drunk.   I was fifteen years old.  It was at my first adolescent booze bash.  I remember all too well what I was drinking.  Tango – it’s sort of a premixed screwdriver.  The label was minimalistic and vaguely Russian looking.  It was very cheap . . .  very popular among under-age imbibers and bums alike. 

It tastes more like tang and vodka  . . . ah . . . I get it now TANGo.  Mayhap the name was deliberately intended to evoke a connection with Tang? I’m guessing that the good folks behind the astronaut's beverage would have nothing to do with this stuff.

Anyhoo . .  I drank a LOT of that space aged cocktail.    I got waylaid on the way back from the potty by some dude who was hoping to get lucky . . . I was only a little country girl from the sticks innocent who a totally shnookered  . . . not a good combination and an easy target.  

Breathe easy . . . my snow was not drifted that winter’s eve, nothing happened other than some sloppy, slobbery kissing and some half-assed groping.  I was rescued from the unwanted attention by a drunk in shining armor, nothing much happened after that than more drinking,  WAY too much drinking.    

Now that I’m all growed up and more sophistimicated I have the refinement to drink real screwdrivers.

Vodka and orange juice has been a popular drink since the mid-1900's.  The official naming of the drink can be dated to around 1949, when American engineers would add vodka to cans of orange juice and stir it with, what else . . . their screwdrivers.

Screwdrivers are simple to make and go down easy.

5oz. Orange Juice
2oz. Vodka
Orange Slice

Fill the glass with ice.  Pour in vodka and orange juice.

Stir well.

Garnish with orange slice and serve.

Yeah, I know . . . no orange slice . . . but I DO have an orange straw!  

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