Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Putting a spin on it

One upon a time there were two young girls.  The little one was as delightful as the day is long with a kewpie doll face and corn-silk tresses.  The older girl was cursed with chicken lips and a grumpy disposition.  She was awfully mean to her little sister, obviously jealous of her loveableness.    The evil big sister would persuade her sweet little sister into doing naughty things.  The good little girl dare not refuse lest the big sister fling record albums at her from across the room like deadly frisbees or swing her round and round by her arm only to let go and send her flying into a wall.

Their mother had a male companion would visit frequently and often share the comfort and warmth of her bed.

Of course, the man would want to bathe and this is often where trouble would start.  You see, the bathroom of the house was located directly under the girls’ bedroom.  The floor was made up of unfinished wood planks with the occasional knothole.  One of these holes was located directly over the bathtub and went clear through to the room below.  It was the just the right size for wayward children to drop trinkets, baubles and coins through.  When the man would sink into the warm, sudsy water for a relaxing soak he would be startled by tiny objects plopping and splashing into the water.  This was inevitably followed by the sound of muffled giggles.

He would yell out, clearly unamused, for the woman do something about her children.  She would confront the girls and the blame was always laid squarely on the shoulders of the precious one; for the big sister was convincing in redirection of the guilt.

You know how sometimes you see something that you wish  you could unsee only to have the image burned indelibly into the cornea of your eye?   There was one such time when the evil older sister, for no good reason, coerced the good little girl to open the door to mother’s bedroom where mommy and the man were sleeping.  The poor little waif came face to face with a big white moon . . . not the celestial moon . . . but a big white HAIRY one with a large crev-ass.  The poor thing was traumatized for life.

And then there was the time when the man was having a sleepover with mommy and the young girl was forced wash his laundry.  While she was folding the clothes that were warm and fresh from the dryer big sister came along.  Big sister had that evil glint in her eye that always made the little sister wary.  Big sister had a fun idea.  Here’s how it went . . .  The man wore tighty-whiteys.  The girls sewed the pee-pee hole in the crotch of his underpants shut with needle and thread.    Again, the man was not in the least bit pleased with this development.  Again, all the blame was thrust upon the little sister. 

And so it went years and years. 

The little one was innocent.  I swear!! She MADE me do it.  Oops . . .

Uhm . . . HI!!! 


Pinwheel Bites

This quicky isn’t your the plain old, usual sammich . . . pinwheel bites are a spin off the same-ol’ same ol’.  A healthy, nutty whole grain bread gives more sophistication than plain old, smooshy white bread. 

These little sammiches roll up nice and compact and since the bread is already squished you don’t have to worry about mushing up your lunch.

  • 1 Slice 12-Grain Bread, Crust Removed
  • 1 Tsp.  Mayonnaise Or Dijon Mustard Or A Combination Of Both
  • Thin Sliced Turkey Breast
  • Think Sliced Ham
  • 1 Slice Provolone
Flatten bread with rolling pin; spread with dressing.

Top with turkey or ham and a slice of cheese; roll up tightly. Cut crosswise into 4 pinwheels.

Serve with a piece of fruit and yogurt.  Or some fresh veggies.  Yums!

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