IPA Vinaigrette

I've been on a bit of a salad kick lately.  When I'm making a lot of salads I like to use various salad dressings to keep things interesting.  


I also like to make my own fresh salad dressings.  So, I'm always looking for something different and tasty to drizzle over my greens.

You may not think that beer and salad pair well.  But I made a dressing using one of my favorite India Pale Ales and it was superb. A wonderful combination of sweet and tart and citrus, it was refreshing and a perfect accompaniment to a hearty salad.

I used Alaskan IPA, but you can use whatever you like.  Experiment with different beer types for a new flavor sensation.

IPA Vinaigrette

3 Ounces Alaskan IPA

1 Tbsp Vidalia Onion, Minced

1 Tsp Orange Zest, Grated

1 Tbsp Raw Honey

1 Tbsp Spicy Guinness Mustard

4 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1 Tsp Kosher Salt and Fresh Ground Pepper

In a food processor or blender combine onion, orange zest, honey, mustard, salt and pepper. 

Slowly add the olive oil and process until mixture well combined.

Toss with your favorite greens and pile on your favorite toppings.

I used this dressing on a salad topped with grilled steak, frizzled onions, provolone cheese, roasted red peppers, green olives and pepperoncini.  Yum!

Southwest Salad

A delicious crisp, crunch salad with the bite of sharp cheddar cheese.  Tasty like a taco but without all the calories.

Yum!

Southwest Salad

2 Hearts of Romaine
2 Roma Tomatoes, Chopped
1 Cup Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Shredded
1 Cup Tortilla Chips, Crushed
1/2 Cup Black Olives
1 Cup Ranch Dressing
1/4 Cup Salsa
1/4 Teaspoon Chili Powder
1/4 Teaspoon Cumin
Sour Cream (for garnish)

Mix lettuce, tomatoes and olives together in large serving bowl.  Top with cheese and tortilla chips.

Mix ranch dressing, salsa, chili powder, cumin in a small bowl.

Drizzle salad with dressing or serve on the side.

Healthy Pepperoni Pizza Chopped Salad

This is a healthy and satisfying salad made with a fresh, homemade dressing.  This is one of my favorite salads and makes for an excellent meal replacement.

Healthy Pepperoni Pizza Chopped Salad 


1 Head Iceberg Lettuce, Cored and Roughly Chopped
1 Small Red Onion, Chopped
1/2 Green Bell Pepper, Chopped
6 Low Fat Mozzarella String Cheese Sticks, Sliced
1/2 Cup Turkey Pepperoni Slices, Chopped
1/2 Cup Green Olives with Pimento, Halved
1/3 Cup Pepperoncini, Chopped
1/3 Cup Extra-Virgin Olive Oil
1/4 Cup Red Wine Vinegar
1 Teaspoon Dried Oregano
1 Teaspoon Superfine Sugar
1/2 Teaspoon Hot Pepper Flakes
1/2 Teaspoon Kosher Salt
Freshly Ground Black Pepper

In a large serving bowl, combine iceberg lettuce, cheese, pepperoni, red onion, pepper, and olives.

In a separate container, combine the oil, vinegar, oregano, hot pepper flakes, sugar, salt, and pepper, to taste. Shake or stir well to combine. 

Drizzle salad with dressing and toss.  Serve immediately.

Simple Greek Salad

Simple Greek Salad


1 Head Iceberg Lettuce, Cored And Roughly Chopped
1 Small Red Onion, Halved And Thinly Sliced
1/3 Cup Crumbled Feta Cheese
1/3 Cup Kalamata Olives
1/3 Cup Extra-Virgin Olive Oil
1/4 Cup Red Wine Vinegar
1 Teaspoon Dried Oregano
1 Teaspoon Superfine Sugar
1/2 Teaspoon Kosher Salt
Freshly Ground Black Pepper


In a large serving bowl, combine iceberg lettuce, red onion, feta and olives.

In a separate container, combine the oil, vinegar, oregano, sugar, salt, and pepper, to taste. Shake or stir well to combine.

Drizzle salad with dressing and toss.  Serve immediately.

Garbanzo and Corn Salad

Garbanzo and Corn Salad

1 Can, 14 Ounces, Garbanzo Beans, Rinsed and Drained
2 Cups Fresh or Canned Corn
1/2 Sweet Onion, Chopped
1 1/2 Teaspoons Ground Cumin
2 Teaspoons Hot Sauce (Or More to Taste)
1 Lime, Juiced
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
Salt And Pepper

This is a great recipe to use for left over corn on the cob.

Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Let stand at least 15 minutes for flavors to mingle, then toss and serve.

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Reflect on this . . .

Hubby and I went out for hot wings and cold beer the other night.  When we got to our favorite bar we noticed something unusual . . . bags of what looked like water hanging from the eaves.


I assumed they were some sort of ward to keep gnomes from invading and wreaking havoc in the establishment.  Lord knows I've had my own issues with the little fellas (still do from time to time).  But just to confirm, when the waitress came to our table to take our order I inquired about them.


No, it wasn't about gnomes . . . or any other mystical creature, for that matter.  It was, however, a ward of a different kind.  Those bags full of water were there to detract bugs.  Really??


Okay . . . so I had to look into this repellent technique because I've never heard of such a thing.



Apparantly this is a method employed in the south and . . . even further south than that . . .  in South America.


Basically, you fill a strong clear plastic bag with clean water and hang it in direct sunlight wherever there is a flying bug problem.  The theory is that the water will refract and reflect the light.  It works kind of like a warning beacon to bugs who perceive the reflected light as movement and avoid it to evade a possible collision.


Some say to make the water bag even more effective put a very shiny penny in the bag . . . the shinier the betterer . . . put little pieces of shiny foil in the water.  This will increase the light infraction and thusly . . . supposedly . . . be more effective.


There are companies that actually attempt to market and sell these things . . . like finding ziplock bags and filling them with water is so complicated.


I also read the US military uses water bags for the purposes of keeping the bugs away.  My biggest concern about this is . . . are they making them or are they contracting out for somebody else to make them.  You’ve heard all the stories about how the military was buying toilet seats for $600, and $17 bolts?  Enough said.  


Anyhoo . . . I supposed it’s worth a try.  I mean . . . you know the kind of stuff flies like to hang out in and on.  Do you really want their nasty little feet touching you or your food?  Ugh . . . no way!


Then again, I doubt they would be useful against mosquitoes. Those flying parasites are out for blood . . . your blood . . . and I don’t think they’d easily be deterred by a bag of water.  Even if it does have shiny bits floating around in it.


And that’s all she wrote . . . 

Bacon Potato Salad

Everything is better with bacon . . . everything.

6 To 8 Medium Potatoes 

1/2 Pound Bacon, Cooked And Crumbled 

2 Celery Ribs, Finely Chopped

3 Hard Boiled Eggs, Chopped

3/4 Teaspoon Salt

1/4 Teaspoon Pepper

1/2 Cup Mayonnaise 

1/2 Cup Sour Cream 

Cook potatoes in boiling water for 30 minutes or until tender. Drain and let cool slightly. Peel and cut into 1-inch cubes.


Place potatoes in a large bowl. Add bacon, celery, eggs, salt and pepper. Stir together mayonnaise and sour cream until blended. Pour over potato mixture, tossing gently to coat. Cover and chill at least 1 hour.

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

The other night I woke up around 1 AM from a dead sleep ... I had to use the potty.   So I got up and and did what I had to do.

I went right back to bed and I lay there ... and I lay there ... and I lay there.  I tossed a little, turned a little but I couldn't fall back to sleep.  

It felt like I lay awake all night ... except when the the alarm went off at 5 AM it was clear that I had actually been asleep ... dreaming that I was awake.  

It wasn't like I was lucid dreaming . . . a dream in which the dreamer has been aware of dreaming because I didn't think I was dreaming, I thought I was awake. 

And it's not like I had a false awaking where you dream your doing things.  It wasn't like that . . . not really . . . because I wasn't doing anything.  I was just laying there in my like I was having insomnia desperately wishing I could fall asleep when, in fact, I was fast asleep.  

I don't know what's worse ... being awake all night or dreaming that you are.  I was just as exhausted as if I HAD been awake all night. 

I'll call it sleeping insomnia.

Zucchini-Ribbon Salad

2 Large Zucchini, Ends Removed

1 Cup Cherry Tomatoes, Halved

1/2 Cup Crumbled Reduced-Fat Feta Cheese

1/3 Cup Chopped Shallots

1/3 Cup Italian Dressing

Use a veggie peeler to peel zucchini lengthwise into super-thin strips; rotate zucchini after each strip to yield a width similar to fettuccine. Place in a large bowl.

Add all remaining ingredients. Gently toss to mix. Cover and refrigerate until chilled, at least 1 hour.

Nice and light and refreshing.

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I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep. Stan Laurel 

Alley oop!!

I was watching the morning news while drinking my coffee when the sports report came on and said something about some player alley ooping the ball.


Never the sports fan I can't say that I ever associated the expression 'alley oop' with basketball.  


My first recollection of hearing or seeing this idiom was in relation to the comic strip of the same name.  The cartoon was first syndicated in 1932 but didn't reach the heights of its popularity until the 1960's.  I remember reading the old Alley Oop comic books that I discovered in my Grammy's attic and also in the  newspaper funnies.




So, after listening to the news I got to wondering what the origin of this pairing of words . . . alley oop.


It is a variation of the  French expression 'Allez! Houp!'   . . . the 'h' is silent . . . which roughly translates to , "Go on! Jump!" or "Off you go!".  It was an expression often used by French circus performers who would exclaim 'allez houp' right before they launch themselves into the air.


It is interesting to note the French influence in some Arabic speaking countries . . . specifically Egypt . . . where laborers says 'hailly hooph' when lifting a large, heavy objects. 

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 Zesty Italian Dressing Recipe

In honor of a harvest of fresh veggies from the garden that I'm making into a salad I thought it appropriate to dress the salad in a fresh homemade variety of a classic.  This recipe is the best I've found!

1 Cup of Vinegar

2/3 Cup of Olive Oil

2/3 Cup Vegetable Oil

2 Tablespoons of Water

1/2 Tablespoon Garlic Powder

1/2 Tablespoon Onion Powder

1/2 Tablespoon Honey

1 Tablespoons Dried Oregano

1/2 Teaspoon Ground Black Pepper

1/4 Teaspoon Dried Thyme

1/2 Teaspoon Dried Basil

1/2 Tablespoon Dried Parsley

1 Tablespoons Salt

1 Teaspoon Hot Pepper Flakes

Pour ingredients into a glass jar or bottle with a cover.   Cover and shake well.  Use or refrigerate for up to 90 days.

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How my garden grows . . . like crazy!

Beet and Feta Salad

2 Cans Whole Beets, Halved

8 Radishes, Chopped

2 Tablespoon Olive Oil

1 Tablespoon Balsamic Vinegar

Pinch Sea Salt

Pinch Freshly Ground Black Pepper

1/2 Cup of Feta Cheese

6 Fresh Mint Leaves, Chopped

Combine all ingredients in a bowl.  Mix well and chill to allow all the flavors to mingle.

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It boggles my mind

I love word games.  As long as I've been able to read and write I've enjoyed word search puzzles, crossword puzzles, Scrabble, Boggle and so on.


I still have my puzzle books lying around the house and a Scrabble board in the game closet.  Puzzle books are all well and good because I can pick them up whenever and I don't need to bug someone to play with me and Scrabble is only good if I have someone else to play with.  I like the challenge of playing with a competitor so I find myself more and more attracted to digital word games like Words with Friends (a Scrabble-like game) and Scramble with Friends (A Boggle-like game).    I find these games engaging because even though I am playing against another person I can still play at my leisure as time permits.  And the best part is that I can have multiple games going with multiple people all at once . . . often more than one game going with the same person at the same time, too!


That being said, my sister and I have a healthy rivalry when it comes to Scrabble and I like to play against her whenever I have the opportunity.  Nothing beats a one on one, face to face, get in  your face game.  You know with all the ribbing, jibing,  gloating and whatnot.


However, I've noticed an interesting trend while playing Words with Friends and Scramble with Friends . . . specifically with my sis.  She tends to be better at crossword type games . . . like Words with Friends.  And I seem to better at anagram type games . . . like Scramble with Friends.  


I seem to lose more Words with Friends games when I'm playing against my sister (I do win some) as opposed to winning most (if not all) Scramble with Friends when she is my opponent.


I find it to be an interesting trend.   They are, of course, totally different types of word games.  Words with Friends being more strategy and has not set time limit and therefore allows more thought to go into each move.  Whereas Scramble with Friends is more of a spontaneous, fly by the seat of your pants three round game with a set amount of time to complete each round.


I don't know if its that I see words in anagrams better than she does . . . perhaps I've had more practice playing anagram type games.  I don't know.  But it is interesting . . . and at least I'm better than her at something.  


Anyhoo . . . just my observation.






Black Bean and Corn Salad

1 Can, 14 Ounces, Black Beans, Rinsed and Drained
2 Cups Fresh or Canned Corn
1/2 Red Onion, Chopped
1 1/2 Teaspoons Ground Cumin
1 Handful Cilantro, Chopped
2 Teaspoons Hot Sauce (Or More to Taste)
1 Lime, Juiced
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
Salt And Pepper

This is a great recipe to use for left over corn on the cob.


Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Let stand at least 15 minutes for flavors to mingle, then toss and serve. 


Print Recipe

These shoes were made for clownin'

I’m no shoe hoarder, aficionado or otherwise.  Most of my shoes are gotten at Walmart or Payless . . . Leona Helmsly I ain’t.

That being said . . . as uninterested as I am in the latest and greatest shoe fashions or the sluttiest heels or the most comfortable sneakers, I do have definite opinions what looks hot and what looks downright stupid.

Here is my WTF list:

 

Crocks . . . why??  They are beyond ugly and, frankly, they are cartoonish.  I hear they’re comfortable but seriously . . . ew!

Uggs . . . ugh!  They are big and puffy . . . kind of like a giant pair of marshmallows for your feet.  Okay, I get the whole warmth in the dead of winter aspect; that makes sense.  But when I see girls (mostly) wearing them with yoga pants that totally accentuate the poofiness or with tiny skirts that just looks downright silly . . . I truly don’t get it.  Ugh.

But the worst . . . the absolute worst . . . is Adidas sandals.  Not the sandals themselves but how they are  . . . uhm . . . accessorized that I think is awful.  

More and more I’m seeing all kinds of people . . . kids, old folks, gangbangers, hipsters . . . wearing Adidas sandals with socks . . . knee socks, crew socks, ankles socks, black socks, white socks . . . what ever, it’s all bad.  Nerd alert!!!  Who . . . I ask who . . . thinks this looks cool?  I’m mean really!

I may wear cheap shoes but they are low key, nondescript and comfortable.  No, no, no  . . . I don’t wear grandma sneakers with Velcro closures or orthopedic shoes . . . just plain ol’ sneakers or black boots or the like.

And, for the record, I’ve bought high end shoes.  The first pair of sexy designer pumps I bought my dog ate and I own a pair of Lowa hiking boots (which are the most comfortable boots ever).

Just sayin’ that look in the mirror . . . especially your feet . . . before you walk out the door.  If you look like a clown or a cartoon or a nerd you may want to rethink your footwear choice. 

Olive Pasta Salad

This simple salad tastes better if allowed to for several hours, in the fridge of course.  It’s even better if you make it the night before you’re going to serve it.

1 Box Uncooked Twisty Macaroni

2 Cups Pimento-Stuffed Green Olives, Sliced

3 Ribs Celery, Chopped

1/2 Cup Mayonnaise

1/2 Teaspoon Black Pepper

1 Teaspoon Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning

Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain.  Run under cold water to cool down the pasta.

In a large bowl, mix the olives, mayonnaise, celery, pepper, and Creole seasoning. Toss in the macaroni.

Cover and chill at least 3 hours in the refrigerator before serving.

Which is better: to have fun with fungi or to have idiocy with ideology

My hubby isn’t particularly fussy about the foods he consumes.  He’ll eat just about anything put in front of him . . . or try it, at the very least.

There are three things he will not eat . . . seafood, black olives and fungi.  Seafood because sea creatures eat and poop in the same water they live in.  Black olives . . . he’ll eat other olives . . . because of they are  

processed in lye and lye is a poison.  I love black olives and, to the best of my knowledge, I haven’t died yet.  And fungi . . . because . . . well, because they are fungi and therefore are gross.  His reasoning is flawed at best. 

It’s generally pretty easy to avoid seafood and black olives; fungus . . . not so much.

Mushrooms are usually pretty easy to spot . . . I love them but I don’t normally cook with them because he doesn’t like them and when we’re eating out he can pick them out of his food if he spots them.  But mushrooms aren’t the only fungus in the food chain. 

Yeast is a fungus . . . what is made with yeast?  Beer and bread are the very first things that come to mind and he might very well die if he couldn’t have them.  

And pickles . . . oh my goodness . . . my hubby loves pickles.  Many pickles are fermented . . . fermentation requires yeast.   Give him a garlicky pickle and a shot of vodka and he has veritably died and gone to heaven.  Vodka is also is made using yeast . . .

And what of cheese?  Mold is a fungus and without it many cheeses would not exist . . . again, he loves cheese!  LOVES it!

Back to the olives that he will eat . . . much like pickles, in order to cure olives, yeast in one form or another is required; either through natural fermentation or by using vinegar. 

I could go on and on . . .

Like I said . . . flawed logic.  He’s cute but not too bright.  But, then again, I didn’t marry him for his brains . . . or for his good looks for that matter.  Just sayin’.

Sour Cream Cucumbers Salad

This recipe is a favorite of mine.  It's cool and wonderful.  Just try NOT to drink the dressing after all the cucumbers are gone.  :)

2 Large Cucumbers, Peeled and Sliced

1 Large Onion, Sliced Into Rings

3/4 Cup Sour Cream

3 Tablespoons Cider Vinegar

2 Tablespoons Sugar

Salt And Pepper To Taste

In a bowl, combine the cucumbers and onion. Combine remaining ingredients and pour over cucumbers. Mix well. Chill. Yield: 6-8 servings.

Which is better: to have fun with fungi or to have idiocy with ideology, to have wars because of words, to have tomorrow's misdeeds out of yesterday's miscreeds?   
Aldous Huxley

I smoke all the time, one after the other

Have you ever had someone blow smoke up your ass?  Yeah, me too . . . all the time . . . oh, wait . . . no I haven’t!  Not ever!

There was a time, in fact, when it was a bona fide medical practice for a physician to literally blow smoke up his patient’s ass.  I swear!  You cannot make this stuff up.

The practice was known as a ‘tobacco smoke enema’.  It was common in the mid-18^th century until the early 19^th century as an acceptable method of artificial respiration . . . kind of like CPR but instead of blowing air into the lungs they would . . . well, you get the picture.  But just in case you don’t quite get it . . . the procedure entailed (get it . . . tail . . . hehe) inserting a rectal tube into the anus.  

The tube was connected to a fumigator and bellow that forced the smoke into the patient’s bum.  There were, of course, other more personal methods of introducing the smoke in to one's derriere.

Why, pray tell, would a doctor want to poof smoke into a tookus?  Sounds like a Clinton/Lewinsky thing with necrophilial undertones to me . . . but that’s where my mind goes.

The purpose was used to resuscitate drowning victims.  Supposedly, the stimulating effects of the tobacco combined with the warm smoke would encourage the person to start breathing.  Surely, if someone blew a gust of cigarette smoke into my fanny, I’d probably take a deep breath . . . and then smack the crap out of the whoever was administering the treatment.

 

Of course, this came at a time when it was common to use mercury to cure syphilis and morphine/opium compounds to quiet obnoxious children. 

The use of tobacco smoke enema’s fell out of favor when it was discovered that the chief component in tobacco smoke is a cardiac poison that can stop the circulation of blood . . . you got it . . . nicotine.  

Yes it can kill you.  Substances are rapidly absorbed at a higher concentration when passed through the intestinal walls . . . which is why the youths of today are giving each other alcohol enemas to get drunk faster . . . but that’s a whole other topic.

Anyway, the effects of the procedure dubious at best.  Hence . . . the evolution of blowing smoke up one’s ass coming to mean to lie or to tell a falsehood.

Greek/House Dressing

3/4 Cup Olive Oil

2 Teaspoons Garlic Powder

2 Teaspoons Dried Oregano

1 1/2 Teaspoons Dried Basil

1 1/2 Teaspoons Pepper

1 1/2 Teaspoons Salt

1 1/2 Teaspoons Onion Powder

1 1/2 Teaspoons Dijon-Style Mustard

1 Cup Red Wine Vinegar

In a quart container, mix together the olive oil, garlic powder, oregano, basil, pepper, salt, onion powder, and Dijon-style mustard. Pour in the vinegar, and mix vigorously until well blended. Store tightly covered at room temperature.

I smoke all the time, one after the other.
Greta Garbo

Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo

I have a friend who told me that she was on this kick when all that she was eating was carrots . . . bags and bags of those little baby carrots.  She ate so many over a period of a few weeks that she actually turned orange.

She must have looked like an Oompa Loompa with a glandular problem . . . my friend is pretty tall.

Is it really possible that eating too many carrots can cause your skin to turn orange-ish?  Yeah, actually it is.

It’s a condition called carotenosis . . . it is caused by eating a lot of foods that contain carotene . . . a red or yellow hydrocarbon pigment . . .  egg yolks, sweet potatoes, beets, a variety of leafy vegetables and, of course, carrots. Carotene builds up in your bloodstream and most people turn a sickly yellow color resembling jaundice. It’s rarely fatal . . . apparently you have to try really, really hard to die of carotenosis.

The good news is you just have to stop eating carrots to resume your normal hue.