Sea Hag Hopped Up Pickles (Spicy IPA Pickles)

Sea Hag Hopped Up Pickles

(Spicy IPA Pickles)

2 Pounds Small Cucumbers

1 1/2 Cups Apple Cider Vinegar

1 Can Sea Hag IPA (or any good IPA)

2 Tablespoons Pickling Salt OR

3 Tablespoons Kosher Salt

8 Garlic Cloves, Peeled

4 Teaspoons Dill Seed

2 Teaspoons Black Peppercorns

1 Teaspoon Red Chili Flakes

Cut off the ends of cucumbers.  This is important because there are enzymes in the ends that will soften the pickles . . . i.e. less crispy. 

Cut the cucumbers into quarters, make sure they’re short enough to fit in quart mason jars without sticking up too high.  Pack the cucumbers into the jars

Split the rest of the ingredients between the two jars.

Combine the vinegar, beer, and salt together in a saucepan, heat until just boiled.  Be careful because it will boil over.

Using a ladle, pour the hot liquid over the cucumbers leaving about a 1/4 inch of headspace.

Screw the lid tops on and allow the jars to cool on the countertop.

Shake the jars gently to mix the spices around.  Put them in the fridge and allow the pickles to absorb all the wonderful spices.

After about a week open the jar, take a bite and be completely impressed with your awesome pickling skills!

PS . . . I use New England Brewery Sea Hag cuz it's a rockin' good beer that make seriously rockin' good pickles!

Print Recipe

We'll leave the light on for you . . . or not

When I was kid we didn't travel much.  Our vacations were either camping trips or staying with family members.


So, when the rare occasion arose where we would be staying at a motel/hotel it was a really REALLY big deal . . . an adventure, a luxury.

Mind you, we didn't stay a 4 or 5 star hotels.  Holiday Inn was as top of the line as we went and Comfort Inn was the norm.  It didn't matter . . . Cable television! Game room!  Swimming Pool! HOT TUB!  It doesn't sound like it should be that exciting, I know.  But trust me it was.  


Come to think of it, coming across the scrambled adult television channel may  have been my first experience with pornography . . . oh joy.

Anyhoo . . . as fun and wonderful as it all was it didn't make us (the kids) angelic guests.  For the most part we behaved ourselves but all that excitement seemed to have brought some prankishness to the surface.

Besides the typical swiping of the towels, soaps and whatnot . . . we dare not touch the minibar or Mom would open a can of whoop-ass on us . . . we had fun roaming the hallways and making a general nuisance of ourselves.  

Of course, there was the ever popular knock-and-run game.  But, that wears a little thin after a while . . . especially, as we got older.  One thing that never seemed to grow old no matter how often we did it was when we found the mini-moos and condiment packets left outside of random doors for room service to retrieve.  


What's so fun about that?  Well, what we did was stomp on them.  The contents . . . whether it was milk, ketchup, mustard or mayo . . . would squirt all over the walls and carpeting.  

;;

The bigger the spatter, the higher splat the more points.  We didn't have and actually scoring structure established and we didn't keep tally . . . it was more on a case by case basis . . . or smoosh but smoosh, as it were.


Yeah . . . we were hicks, we were lame but we had fun.

Ukrainian Red Borscht Soup

1 (16 Ounce) Package Pork Sausage

3 Medium Beets, Peeled And Shredded

3 Carrots, Peeled And Shredded

3 Medium Baking Potatoes, Peeled And Cubed

1 Tablespoon Vegetable Oil

1 Medium Onion, Chopped

1 (6 Ounce) Can Tomato Paste

3/4 Cup Water

1/2 Medium Head Cabbage, Cored And Shredded

1 (8 Ounce) Can Diced Tomatoes, Drained

3 Cloves Garlic, Minced

Salt And Pepper To Taste

1 Teaspoon White Sugar, Or To Taste

1/2 Cup Sour Cream, For Topping

Crumble the sausage into a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook and stir until no longer pink. Remove from the heat and put in large soup pot.

Fill the pot halfway with water (about 2 quarts), and bring to a boil.

Add the beets, carrots and potatoes, and cook until tender, about 15 minutes. Add the cabbage, and the can of diced tomatoes.

Heat the oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the onion, and cook until tender. Stir in the tomato paste and water until well blended. Transfer to the pot.

Add the raw garlic to the soup, cover and turn off the heat. Let stand for 5 minutes. Taste, and season with salt, pepper and sugar.

Ladle into serving bowls, and garnish with sour cream and fresh parsley.

It's no cakewalk . . .

Cakewalk . . . a word that has come to mean something that is easy to do.   As in . . . getting my hubby to try a new beer is a cakewalk . . . see NBT.

A cakewalk originated as a dance performed by African Americans during and after the US Civil War when blacks were segregated from polite white society.  People of color were not invited to public events like parties and balls . . . but as servants they were often in attendance.  Not for the fun of course . . . they had the “pleasure” of watching white folks twist, twirl and strut doing the popular dances of those days.

The cakewalk became not only a popular dance but a form of entertainment among the black people of that era.  It started as a form of satire to mimic the moves that whites displayed during their Minuets and Waltzes. 

It eventually became a competition between couples to see who could cakewalk the most gracefully or extravagantly.  Perhaps as a further extension of the joke, this promenade was often done in a circle with a cake in the middle.   Whichever couple had the most style or flamboyance in their struts got to take home the cake.

And that’s how the phrase “take the cake” originated and came to mean to take the prize.

The funny thing is that the cakewalk was further popularized by the white performers of Vaudeville in the next century.  So . . . the cakewalk was a dance done by black people to mock the white people who did it to make fun of the black people . . . in essence they were only goofing on themselves.  

Pepperoni String Cheese Roll Ups

1 (8 Ounce) Package Refrigerated Crescent Roll Dough

4 Cheese Sticks, Halved

1 (3.5 Ounce) Package Sliced Pepperoni

Garlic Butter Glaze:

2 Tablespoons Butter, Melted

1/2 Teaspoon Italian Seasonings

1/4 Teaspoon Garlic Powder

1 Tablespoon Grated Parmesan Cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Take each triangle of crescent roll dough and place about 6 pepperoni on the bottom of the triangle. Place half of a cheese stick on top and roll up. Place seam side down on a cookie sheet and bake for 10-14 minutes or until golden brown.

While rolls are cooking, combine the melted butter, Italian seasonings, garlic powder and Parmesan cheese in a small bowl.

When rolls are done remove from the oven and brush with the garlic butter glaze. Serve with marinara or ranch for dipping.

An increase in light gives an increase in darkness

When my son was four years old, I took him on trip to see some of the places I remember visiting as a child.


One of the places I took him was Crystal Cave near Kutztown, PA.  The cave has been a tourist attraction for over 140 years.  It's known for it's unusual rock and, of course, crystal formations.  




Like any indulgent parent,  we visited the gift shop where he picked out a child-size miner's helmet equipped with a working lantern.  He immediately popped the helmet on to his head and off we went to do the tour.  

The tour guide pointed out formations of interest and talked about the history of the cave.  We reached a point in the cave where he warned us that they would be turning off the lights so that we could experience total darkness.  I explained to my son what was about to happen and he said he wasn't afraid.  


My brave boy!


They turned off the lights and we were engulfed in complete blackness.  For only a moment though . . . almost as soon as they lights were off my son flicked on the light on his miner helmet.  Yeah, that kind of ruined the experience for everyone else on the tour.  But it sure was funny!

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Sauteed Spinach and Green Beans With Garlic

3 Cups Frozen Green Beans

10 Ounce Package Baby Spinach

2 Garlic Cloves, Minced

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

2 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter

2 Tablespoons Fresh Lemon Juice

Kosher Salt & Freshly Ground Black Pepper

Heat a large skillet and then add the olive oil.


When the oil is nice and hot throw in the green beans and season with salt and pepper.


Add the spinach and let that wilt down, stirring occasionally.


Add in the garlic, lemon juice and the butter and stir over low-medium heat. You don't want the garlic to brown but you do want it to cook for about 5-10 minutes and incorporate all the flavors.


Taste and re-season if needed.  Remove from the heat and serve!

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it.

I know some people think it’s gross or it’s a bad habit, but I love chewing gum.  Yup, I admit it . . . I’m a chicle chomper.  Although, these days you’d be hard pressed to find a commercially manufactured chewing gum in the United States made out of this natural latex.  Nowadays, like many things, it’s cheaper to manufacture chewing gum out of a synthetic.

I love to blow bubbles and, as annoying as it is to other people, I really love to snap my gum.    My favorite bubble gum is Bubble Yum but I’ll settle for Bubblicious in a pinch.  But, I don’t normally get bubble gum, only because its so loaded with sugar.  I always keep some form of chewing gum at my disposal if for no other reasons than for a quick breath fresher upper or as a stop gap until I can get some food in my tummy.

I learned very early on not to swallow my gum.  most of us were told when we were kids that swallowed gum stay in our stomachs for up to seven years, since it’s not digestible. This is actually not true . . . gum will pass through your digestive system along food and make its exit with little or no fanfare at the end . . . or your end.


My younger years were greatly influenced by gum chewers.

Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory fame was an avid gum chewer.  Unfortunately, it was her love of the confection that was also her downfall.   Violet is the third child to find a Golden Ticket and the second to be ejected from the tour. Her demise came when she swipes and then chews an experimental three-course meal gum. When it gets to the dessert, blueberry pie, she turns blue and begins to fill with juice, inflating into a human blueberry.

Another was feisty, gum-popping red-head named Florence Jean Castleberry from Cowtown, Texas.  Better known as Flo from the television series Alice.  Flo was a waitress at Mel's Diner in Phoenix, Arizona.  She was a seasoned waitress who was vivacious and flirty with the male customers.  I loved Flo’s feisty attitude and her famous catch phrases . . . "Kiss mah grits!!!", "When donkeys fly!!!" and "You bet your sweet patoot!"

Last, but certainly not least, was MacGyver.  MacGyver rocked!  He was as cute as the day is long and just as smart.  Give him a Swiss Army Knife, a roll of duct tape, a stick of chewing gum, a paper clip and just about anything else you can think of and this guy can get you outta trouble !! He could make a bomb and once repaired a blown fuse using the aluminum wrapper of a stick of chewing gum to bridge the blown fuse.  Did I mention he was cute?

What’s super cool is the world record for the largest bubble ever blown.  In 1994 Susan Montgomery Williams of Fresno, California stuck a bunch of gum in her mouth and blew a bubble. She blew and blew and blew until it became the largest bubblegum bubble in the world . . . a whopping 23 inches in diameter.

You know what I hate though?  Is when people stick their gum under tables and seat in public places.  Come on, people!  That’s just gross!

Roast Beef, Mushrooms and Onions


This is a great recipe to use for leftover roast beef.  Yummly!


1/2 Lb Sliced Mushrooms
1 Medium Onions, Sliced
2 Tablespoons Butter
3 Cloves Garlic
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
1 Tablespoon Cooking Sherry
Roast Beef, Sliced Thin
1/2 Cup Shredded Fresh Parmesan Cheese


Melt the butter and olive oil together in a frying pan over medium heat.  Add the onions and season with Tony Chachere (or other seasoned salt); let them cook until they start to get soft.  Then add the mushrooms until they start to get a little brown and the onions are nice and soft, about 15 minutes.


Add the roast, sherry and salt.


Cook until most of the moisture has evaporated.


Mix in cheese and serve.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

A man cruised down to the biker bar on his Harley Davidson motorcycle . . . for the purposes of this blog I’ll call him Ziggy . . . where he hung out drinking and shooting pool for several hours . . . way past the time when he told his wife he’d be home.  His wife . . . I’ll call her Donna . . . called the bar looking for him.  The bartender answered the phone and shouted across the barroom . . . “Hey Zig, you’re wife is on the phone.” 

Ziggy exclaimed, “Oh crap!  Tell her I’m not here.  ”.   Of course, all the while the bartender is holding out the phone and Donna can hear him as clear as if he were talking into the mouthpiece.  The bartender sighs and says, “he’s not here”, and proceeds to hang up the phone.

Naturally, this isn’t the first time Ziggy’s tried to pull a fast one on her and, then to add insult to injury, she got hung up on.  Now she’s rip-roarin’ pissed off.  Donna’s not one to just to sit back and let things go, so she heads off to the bar the get her husband.

One of the bikers hanging outside smoking a cigarette recognizes Donna’s car as she pulled into the parking lot.  He popped his head inside and yelled, “hey Ziggy, you’re wife is here.”

Ziggy exclaimed, “Oh crap!” And, instead of facing his petite little darlin’, he crouched down behind the pinball machines to hide. Heh . . . a real manly man, eh?

Donna storms through the door and demands to talk to her husband.  The bartender says, ‘I already told you he wasn’t here, Donna.”

So she says, “Dude, I know he’s here”.   And proceeds to look for him.  She looks under the tables, behind the bar, in the bathrooms and there’s no sign of Ziggy.

The bartender says, “I told you he wasn’t here” as he steers her towards the door and outside.

Donna knows he’s inside the bar somewhere.  She’s not stupid.  After all, his motorcycle is sitting right outside the bar in the parking lot.   

Donna was ticked off before and now she was double . . . nay. . . triply enraged.  She walks right up to the bike and kicks it over.

The bartender, who was still outside waiting for her to leave, yelled inside . . .”Hey, Ziggy, your wife just dumped your bike.”

Ziggy exclaimed, “Oh crap! “

True story . . . Hell hath no fury and all that stuff.

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Key Lime Pie


5 egg yolks, beaten
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup key lime juice
1 (9 inch) prepared graham cracker crust

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.


Combine the egg yolks, sweetened condensed milk and lime juice. Mix well. Pour into unbaked graham cracker shell.


Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes. Allow to cool. Top with whipped topping and garnish with lime slices if desired.

In a world of ordinary mortals, you are a Wonder Woman

When I was a little girl I wanted to be Wonder Woman in the worstest way!  Not the DC Comics version.  I wanted to be the REAL Wonder Woman . . . you know from the TV show starring Lynda Carter (1975-1979).  Wowzers . . . she was something!  Girls wanted to be her . . . men wanted to be with her. 

In a time when equal rights for women were at the forefront . . . Wonder Woman was a feminist icon.  She personified sexual equality in a male dominated world.  She was super strong, super dynamic, super lithe and super sexy.  And she could kick some serious ass!

Wonder Woman is the symbol of patriotism . . . and, if you know me then you know why that appeals to me.  Yes, her costume incorporated aspects of the American flag . . . but that’s not all.  But she believed in truth, justice and the American way.  That’s why she hooked up with the Justice League . . . duh!

And then there was the Lasso of Truth . . . I defy any hot blooded American male to tell me he wouldn’t want to be wrangled by her.  The Lasso of Truth forces anyone it captures to obey and tell the truth.  An interested fact about The Lasso is that it was actually inspired by something most of us are familiar with . . . academically if not personally.  William Marston, the creator of the Wonder Woman character, was also a scientist who worked on the systolic blood-pressure test used to detect deception . . . the predecessor of the polygraph test.   I wonder where he got the idea for the lasso . . . huh? 

Anyhoo . . . with her gorgeous hair, cute outfit, awesome power and uber coolness . . . I wanted to be her.  And then came Underroos.  Holy cow!  Now I could BE Wonder Woman! Yup, it’s true . . . with the magic of cotton underwear I could be her.  Yes!!! Uhm . . . no.  But at least they made me look cool . . . or at the very least feel cool.  If nothing else, they were very comfy.

If you’re unfamiliar with this line of adolescent fantasy-wear  . . . Underoos is a brand of underwear that is made for children that mimicked the outfit a super hero . . . or Mickey Mouse if that’s kind of thing appeals to you.  The garments stimulated young imaginations and allowed them to, in a small way, be that super-hero . . . or mouse. 

I guess I felt kind of super wearing them.  I’m thinking that just being having the underwear and not actually being Wonder Woman was somewhat anticlimactic. 

Nannercakes - Banana Pancakes

 

1 Cup All-Purpose Flour

1 Tablespoon White Sugar

2 Teaspoons Baking Powder

1/4 Teaspoon Salt

1 Egg, Beaten

1 Cup Milk

2 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil

2 Ripe Bananas, Mashed

In a mixing bowl, mix together egg, milk, vegetable oil and bananas.

Combine flour, white sugar, baking powder and salt.  Stir flour mixture into banana mixture; batter will be slightly lumpy.

Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake.

Cook until pancakes are golden brown on both sides; serve hot.