I had a dream the other night that I’d been going about drinking from the office water fountain all wrong.
Apparently, all you had to do was put your head down and lips near the spout and a lovely flow of cool water would be available for the slurping.
How I to know there was was a proximity detector installed on the deceptively antiquated looking water fountain?
But, alas, I woke up to find that I did, indeed, have to press the button to make the water come out.
Curse you, imaginary magical water fountain.
When will my dreams ever come true? My subconscious mind is nothing but a big tease.
Place a whole chicken or turkey breast skin-side down on a plastic cutting board with the pointed end facing away from you.
Using a sharp knife, slice through the white cartilage in the center of the breast, just above the keel bone.
Pick up the breast and bend it backwards, pushing toward you with your fingertips to pop out the keel bone (the keel bone is the dark heavy bone in the center of the breast.)
Work with your fingers and the knife along the sides of the keel bone to free it and pull out the entire bone, including the cartilage (white soft portion) at the pointed end of the breast.
There are two long bones (one on each side) which extend backwards toward the point of the breast. Slip the knife point under one of these bones, loosening it.
Grasp the bone and lift it away from the breast, removing the rib cage while you slice closely along the back of it with your knife until it is free; repeat for the other side.
The wishbone remains - just pull it out.
1 Deboned or Boneless
1 Lb Slab Bacon
Butterfly the breast by laying it flat on a cutting board. Holding the blade of a knife parallel to the board, about halfway down, slice into the thickest portion of the breast. Cut along the length of the breast, but not all the way through. Unfold so the turkey opens like a book.
Put the turkey breast between two pieces of wax paper or plastic wrap and gently pound with a mallet until it is about 1/4 inch thick.
Spread a thin layer of the stuffing over the breast, leaving about 3/4 inch border around all sides. Tightly roll the breast lengthwise.
Basket weave half the bacon on one side of the turkey breast roll. Turn over and basket weave the remaining bacon on the other side of the roll.
Tie the rolled turkey breast tightly with kitchen string and set it on a roasting pan.
Roast at 400° for 20 minutes, then drop the heat to 325° and roast for another 45 minutes to and hour, or until the internal temperature of the breast reads about 155° on a meat thermometer.
Once the turkey reaches that temperature remove it from the roasting pan and tent it loosely with foil. Let it rest at least 10 minutes, and up to 25 minutes.
While the turkey breast is resting, if you want, you may be able to make a little gravy with the drippings.