Firewater Friday - I can't quite put my finger on it . . .

I heard a news story that a customer at an Arby’s in Michigan bit into their sandwich and got more than roast beef in their bite.  In fact, they were gnawing on a pretty goodly sized chunk of a human finger.

An employee apparently cut her finger on a meat slicer and left her station without immediately telling anyone and her co-workers continued filling orders until they found out what had happened.  Her injury was so severe that she had to be treated at a local hospital.

As gross and disgusting as it is, it’s reasonable to expect that these kinds of accidents will happen.  And, of course they do.  However, it also realistic to assume that when accidents like this occur that management will be notified so that customers don’t end up eating pieces of the employees.

Apparently, these accidental dismemberments escape notice . . . a few years ago, a TGI Friday's customer in Indiana found part of a kitchen worker's finger on his hamburger. And the year before that a man enjoying a TCBY yogurt in North Carolina bit into what he thought was candy in his frozen yogurt only to discover the chewy bit was a piece of finger and not a gummy bear.

 

What’s scary is that of the pieces that are actually found how many slip by and into the digestive tracts of unsuspecting consumers. 

Just sayin’.

Strawberry Vanilla Mojitos

(2 Cocktails)

12 Large Fresh Strawberries

Small Handful of Fresh Mint Leaves

6 Oz Simple Syrup 

4 Oz Vanilla Rum

1 Lime

Club Soda

Simple Syrup:  even amounts of sugar and water, heated until the sugar melts, and cooled to room temperature.

Place strawberries in a blender along with the juice of ½ of lime.   Puree until mostly smooth.

For each drink: place a few mint leaves and an ounce of the simple syrup.  Muddle the ingredients together with the back of a spoon (or a muddler if you have one.) Fill the glass with ice.  Add 2 ounces simple syrup, 2 ounces rum, half of the strawberry puree and the juice of ¼ lime. Pour in enough club soda to fill the glass. Give the mixture a stir, and garnish with mint leaves.

Firewater Friday - I don't always drink hand sanitizer, but when I do I prefer Purell

I remember when I was a teenager and discovering the joys of chugging beer, getting loaded on Mai Tais at the local Chinese restaurant and drinking too many screwdrivers and puking in some random parking lot.

Ah . . . my sweet stupid youth.  Yeah all kids are pretty dumb . . . especially when it comes to drinking alcohol;  moderation doesn't usually factor in.

Kids these days don't seem to be any smarter than I was.  In fact, they may even be more idiotic.  It seems they will do anything to get a buzz.  When I was a teenager it wasn't all that difficult to get my hands on a six pack or a pint.  It must be harder now.  

I recently read a news article about teens getting drunk off hand sanitizer.  You read that right . . . slurping that gel you used to get the germs off your hands.  Apparently, you can get drunk off the stuff but it’s also not safe. Liquid hand sanitizer is 62% ethyl alcohol and makes a 120-proof liquid.  A couple squirts and a kid can get seriously drunk . . . a couple more squirts and they’re in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.  Don’t laugh . . . it happens.  So not only do we have to lock up the liquor but now we have to keep the hand sanitizer under lock and key. 

Quite of few of the kids who are smart enough to manage to get some actual booze in their hands aren’t intelligent enough to ingest it in the natural way . . . you know, by drinking it.

No, they’re coming up with some pretty creative ways to get the buzz without the tell-tale booze breath.

Some are inserting alcohol soaked tampons into their nether regions.  Sometimes called butt chugging . . . uhm . . . yeah. The rapid absorption causes a faster buzz.  A super-plus absorbency tampon can hold 1.5 ounces of liquid . . . which is the equivalent of one shot.  I imagine that it has got to burn like hell to have alcohol in direct contact with your  . . . er . . . sexy parts. 

Others are doing what is known as vodka eyeballing . . . as the name would suggest it is the practice of pouring vodka directly into the eyes.  It’s supposed to give an instant buzz.  It would seem self evident but pouring alcohol in your eye can cause serious damage . . . the resulting chemical burn can cause immediate injury to the cornea and surrounding tissue and repeated applications will continue to degrade the tissues . . . the injury is irreversible.  Is it worth it to go blind for a quick high?  I’d say not.

Imbibing with these unorthodox methods your body cannot not react the way it normally would if too much alcohol is consumed . . . that is, if you drink too much you’re gonna hurl.  There’s no hurling here . . . your body has no outlet other than to metabolize the booze; too much and you’re in the hospital or dead.

Like I said . . . kids are stupid.  I know I most certainly was . . . but I was never THAT dumb.

Coconut Mango Mojito

6-8 Fresh Mint Leaves

2 1/2 Ounces of Mint Simple Syrup

1 Ounce of Coconut Rum

1 1/2 Ounces of Club Soda

1-2 Ounces of Mango Puree

The Juice of One Lime

To make the mango puree, combine 1 peeled and chopped, ripe mango in a food processor (or high speed blender) with the juice of 1 lime, and process until smooth.

In the bottom of a glass, add 1 ounce of simple syrup and the mint leaves. Muddle with a muddler or use the clean bottom of something blunt. Add ice to the glass, and pour rum, syrup, mango puree, lime juice and club soda over top. Mix with a long spoon or knife and serve with an additional sprig of mint.

Mint Simple Syrup

1 Cup Water

1 Cup Sugar

10 Fresh Mint Leaves

Add all ingredients to a small saucepan and heat over medium heat just until it bubbles. Turn down to low for 2 minutes, and then remove from heat and let sit for 15-20 minutes.

Store in the refrigerator in an airtight container until ready to use.

Firewater Friday - Ooh that smell . . . can't you smell that smell?

I’m not a big pot smoker . . . however, I’ll admit that I’ve puffed a few bones in my lifetime and  . . . unlike certain politicians . . . I freely confess that I did, indeed, inhale. 

I also admit that I like the way weed smells and once you smell burning marijuana you never forget what it’s like.

I was hanging out in the kitchen of a friend’s home who also just so happens to have a teenage son.  We’re chatting it up, cooking dinner and drinking wine.  All of sudden I start detecting the distinctive aroma of doobage.

So, I asked her about it.  She said she doesn’t notice.  So I start sniffing around to see where the smell is coming from. 

I swear up and down that I smell the ganja and she assures me that neither she nor her child smoke pot. 

Sniff, sniff . . . after smelling everything in sight I finally discover the odor is being emitted from a pile of grapefruit sitting in a bowl on the counter. 

Hmmm . . . that’s odd.  I found the smell and it wasn't weed!!!!  Is it just my shnozz?  Or does weed and grapefruit share the same scent?

I’ve noticed the smell since  . . . .whenever I’m in the produce section of my grocery store and in my fridge when I have Ruby Reds in there.  I know I’m not crazy . . . okay maybe just a little, but not about this.  So, I decided to poke around and see if I’m the only one who smells this smell as it relates to grapefruit.

It turns out that there are several strains of marijuana that do, in fact, smell like grapefruit . . . Grapefruit Sweet Deep Grapefruit, Grapefruit Kanji . . . among others. 

They are often grown for medicinal use.  I am by no means an expert but this is what I read . . . these strains are fairly similar. They are supposed be fairly strong and long lasting and good for treating pain and insomnia.  Some have the flavor of grapefruit, some don’t. 

By the way . . . I am all for medicinal marijuana.  I think it is far less dangerous and addictive than many legalized drugs.  As long as it doesn’t affect anyone else then people should be able to do what they need to do to manage their chronic pain and other disorders.

Ruby Red Mojito

This is a fantastic mojito.  It's quite refreshing and flavorful.   Not too sweet, not too tart, and not too minty. YUM! 

Mint Simple Syrup (recipe below)

Mint Sprigs for Garnish

1 Ruby-Red Grapefruit

3/4 Cup White Rum

3 Cups Ice

1 Cup Seltzer

Using a vegetable peeler, remove zest from grapefruit in long, wide strips. Place in a large glass, and add rum. Cover, and let stand for 30 minutes. Strain through a fine sieve into a large glass measure, and discard zest.

Cut grapefruit into quarters.  Fill glass with ice and squeeze juice from grapefruit quarter. Stir 3 tablespoons infused rum, 2 tablespoons mint syrup, and 1/4 cup seltzer in a glass measure, and pour over ice. Garnish with mint sprigs.

Mint Simple Syrup

1 Cup Water

1 Cup Sugar

10 Fresh Mint Leaves

Add all ingredients to a small saucepan and heat over medium heat just until it bubbles. Turn down to low for 2 minutes, and then remove from heat and let sit for 15-20 minutes.

Store in the refrigerator in an airtight container until ready to use.

Ooh that smell . . . can't you smell that smell?
Lynyrd Skynyrd