Firewater Friday - Baby Guinness

I fell in love with Patron XO Café at first taste.  It is smooth and delicious and very coffee.  Mixed with Bailey's it simply wonderful!

Baby Guinness 

1.5 oz Patron XO Café Tequila
3/4 oz Bailey's Irish cream

In separate containers chill Patron XO and baileys over ice. Pour Patron XO in small cocktail glass, then slowly pour the Baileys down the side of the glass to float on top.

Firewater Friday - El Café Miel

A blend of Patron XO Cafe and Vanilla Bean Mead makes for a smooth, delightful cocktail - as elegant as it is lethal.  

El Café Miel

2 Parts Sap House Meadery Vanilla Bean Mead

1 Part Patron XO Cafe

Combine ingredients in an ice filled cocktail shaker.  Shake well and pour into a chilled cocktail glass.

Serve and enjoy!

Cheers!

Firewater Friday - Devil's Food

A concoction that is deep, dark and sinful . . . sinfully delicious!  

Imagine a devil's food cake topped with creamy vanilla frosting.  This cocktail is a combination of  bittersweet dark chocolate stout mixed with rich, sweet vanilla bean mead.  

Devil's Food

2 Ounces Sap House Meadery Vanilla Bean Mead
12 Ounces Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout

In a 16-ounce glass, pour the mead and top off with the stout.  No need to stir.

Simple but delicious.

Cheers!!

Firewater Friday - Paradise Punch

When it's cold and snowy here's a yummy cocktail to sit back, sip, close your eyes and imagine you're somewhere tropical.

Paradise Punch


1 Ounce Southern Comfort
2/3 Ounce Coconut Rum
1/2 Ounce Amaretto
1 2/3 Ounces Fresh Orange Juice
1 2/3 Ounces Pineapple Juice
2/3 Ounce Rose's Lime 
2 Dashes Grenadine



Combine all ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice.

Shake; strain into a glass filled with ice.

Enjoy!

Firewater Friday - Bacon and Eggs Cocktail

Bacon and eggs . . . it's not just for breakfast anymore.  And you don't necessarily have to chew it either.  

Don't worry, no one is going to force you to swallow fried eggs and crispy bacon without the benefit of using your choppers first.  Nor are they going to throw your breakfast in a blender and liquefy it into odd savory smoothy.

No, but you can drink your bacon in eggs . . . in a cocktail!  This recipe uses bacon infused bourbon (I infuse my own: Method 1, Method 2) and Advocaat which is a Brandy and Egg Liqueur (good in coffee, too).

Bacon and Eggs Cocktail

1 Part Bacon Infused Bourbon
1 Part Advocaat Liqueur

Pour bourbon and Advocaat into an ice filled cocktail shaker.  

Shake, shake, shake.  

Strain into a cocktail glass or serve over the rocks.

Garnish with a strip of bacon, if desired.

Firewater Friday - Guinness Cream Soda

I found a recipe for a cocktail using Guinness.  It's called "Guinness Cream Soda".  I don't know if that's what *I* would have named it because it tastes more like a ginger beer, but who am I to criticize.    I've altered the recipe somewhat . . . basically because the original recipe called for Navan Vanilla Liquor which is extremely expensive and not easily acquired in the US and Domaine De Canton Ginger Liquer which is also expense.  I wouldn't consider either of these suitable mixers for mixing with beer.  Let's face it . . . this isn't a high-end fancy-shmancy high-class cocktail.  My results were delicious!  

Also, I recommend using the Guinness Draught from the can as opposed to Guinness Extra Stout in the bottle.  You will have better results . . . basically because the bottled version is meant to be drank straight from the bottle and not poured (see this blog post for more information)

It's interesting to note that you can have two distinctly different drinking experiences with this cocktail.  You can float the Guinness much like is done with a Black and Tan.  Or, you can mix it all together with a gentle stir.  Either way is good . . . just different.






Guinness Cream Soda 

2 Ounces Ginger Liqueur
2 Ounces Vanilla Liqueur
1 (12-ounce) Can Club Soda, Chilled
1 (14.9-ounce) Can Guinness Draught, Chilled

Combine the liqueurs in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake to chill then mix with club soda, stir gently to combine.

Fill a chilled pint glass halfway with the club soda mixture. 

If floating the Guinness, hold a spoon over the glass, slowly pour the Guinness over the back of the spoon until the glass is full. 

Otherwise combine half the club soda mixture with half the can of Guinness.  Stir gently if.

Serve immediately.

Makes two cocktails

Firewater Friday - Sing a song of sixpence while all in a tizzy

Have you ever gotten yourself so worked up that you were in a veritable tizzy? Hmm . . . I'm not even sure I know what in the heck a tizzy is?  But writing it out twice in two sentences is making me dizzy.


A tizzy is outdated English jargon for a sixpence coin; the equivalent of about $2.75 nowadays.  Mmmm . . . not much there to get roused about.  I'm not sure I can even get a small . . . er short . .  coffee at Starbucks for that.


I feel like I'm going round and round and really not getting much of anywhere.  Perhaps this word . . . this tizziness . . . doesn't have any literal roots in language, per se.  It happens . . . people make up their own words all the time.  It has been said that 'tizzy' is simply a corruption of 'dizzy'.  But, nope, it ain't so.


The most likely source of the word is based on a 1930's radio variety show character named "Tizzy Lish".  She was a hyper, scatterbrained character on the The Happy Go Lucky Hour.  The character, played by Bill Comstock, was a cooking "expert". 


Miss Tizzy would start her skit, "Well hello, folksies!" She would begin with a few one-liners, mostly self deprecating jokes.  And then she would go on to give a recipe and encourage her listeners to write them down.  For example:

Frog Stew

First put a pan on the stove.  Now take it off.  Are you  taking your pans off? Shame on you!

Now, take two chicken legs.  Now put one leg in the sink.  Now put the other leg in the oven. My, what long legs you have!

Now, take a chuck roast and cut a hole in it.  Now, look in and see if Chuck is in there.  Yes he is!   Hello Chuck!!

When guests arrive serve and when they ask, "why do you call this  frog stew".  You say. "After one mouthful you'll hop around a while and then croak!" 

Then she would end her monologue "Well, goodbye, folksies!" 



So, now you know.







Coffee, Cream and Cake Cocktail


1 1/2 Ounce Baileys Irish Cream
1 1/2 Ounce Pinnacle Cake Vodka
8 Ounces Strong Coffee, Chilled
1 Tablespoon Powdered Sugar
2 Tablespoons Half and Half


Make coffee in advance and chill in refrigerator until ready to use.  I used espresso.


Mix all the ingredients and pour into a blender with a cup or so of crushed ice.  


Blend until frothy.

Firewater Friday - Drunken Ice cream jelly spiders

So, there I am . . . quietly minding my own business when all of a sudden my husband yells out, "Ice cream jelly spiders!"


"WHAT??!", was my startled reply.


What initiated his Tourette-like outburst?  He was reading an another blog and that's pretty much how the post he was reading started:

Since I had already been rudely wrenched from the story I was so engrossed in, I picked up my laptop and Googled "Ice Cream Jelly Spiders" . . . and yes, it does pretty much take you right there.  Give it a try if you don't believe me.

Hmmm . . . interesting.  Weird, but interesting.


But me being me . . . I had to kick it up a notch.  

First of all, I substituted Jell-O for the Aussie Aeroplane Jelly . . . same stuff, different name.  And, then to make it more grown-up friendly, I substituted Vanilla Rum for the water in the mixing instructions . . . basically, I made a great big Jell-O Shot.


The Basic Jello Shot Recipe 


1 (3-ounce) Box of Jell-O (I used strawberry)
1 Cup Boiling Water
1 Cup Booze (I used Vanilla Rum)


In a bowl, pour the boiling water over the Jello and stir until thoroughly dissolved. Cool to room temperature, then stir in the booze. Pour the mixture into shot glasses or Jello shot cups. Refrigerate until well-set, at least 6 hours. Makes 32 1-ounce jello shots or two big Jelly Spiders . . . divide the Jell-O into two big tumblers.






Then when those were gel'n I made up a batch of homemade lemonade.



Perfect Lemonade Recipe


1/2 Cup Raw Sugar 
1/2 Cup water 
1/2 Cup Lemon Juice
2 Cups Cold Water (to dilute)


Make simple syrup by heating the sugar and water in a small saucepan until the sugar is dissolved completely.


While the sugar is dissolving, use a juicer to extract the juice from 4 small lemons, enough for 1/2 cup of juice.


Add the juice and the sugar water to a pitcher. Add 2 cups of cold water. 

Okay . . . I admit I didn't make the ice cream, that's WAY too much like too much work.


After the giant Jell-O shots were all gelled up and firm.  I put two big scoops of ice cream . . . Häagen-Dazs, no less . . . and filled the glass with my sweet-n-tart lemonade . . . 


Voilà!  Drunken Ice cream jelly spiders.  


How were they?  Surprisingly good, actually.  Refreshing, sweet, creamy, tart, boozy.  Pretty much . . . yum!






Thanks, Tam, for the great idea . . . you're an inspiration to me and many others!  Cheers!

Firewater Friday - Quote this

When I was a teenager everything was like this or like that . . . like like like like like . . . yeah, like that.  In fact, I so abused the word like that my mother forbade me to speak it . . . it was so impossible that I was practically speechless for like an entire month.

The use of 'like' in this manner is called the “like quotative”.  It's most prevailant in the United States among teenage girls . . . but the phenomena is global in English speaking countries.




A quotative is grammatical tool to notate reported speech and is typically enclosed in quotations in written speech.


The use of 'like' is . . . uhm . . . like a conveyance of an attitude or an approximation of a statement as opposed to an exact quote.

Saw the whole thing, dude. First you were all like "whoa", and we were like "whoa", and you were like "whoa..." 





]It's interesting to note that in the mid 20th century another word became a new quotative . . . 'go'. 



Much like teenagers today say . . . She was like, "that was totally rad" and then he was all like, "nah, it was so dry".


People then were saying:  And he goes, "that dame is the cat's meow" and then he goes "be careful, she's a moll"


The use of 'like' has become a linguistic tsunami . . . the like quotative has gone from practically nonexistent usage to a common manner of speech in a relatively short period of time.  And although it crested in the 80's 'like's' usage is receding.

A newer quotative is the 'all' quotative.  You know he was all, “I don’t know.”


The English language ebbs and flows . . . it gets used and abused.  I admit I abuse it all the time . . . but I'm all like whatever.  






White Zinfandel-Infused Strawberry Ice Pops 


6 to 8 large strawberries
4 ounces of raw cane sugar
4 fluid ounces of water
8 Ounces white zinfandel  


Combine sugar and water in saucepan. Gently heat while stirring until sugar completely dissolves.


Remove from heat and allow syrup to completely cool.


Rinse strawberries and pat dry. With paring knife, remove stems.


Lightly puree strawberries with wine.  


Combine puree with cooled syrup.


Pour into molds, add sticks, and freeze until solid (about four to 6 hours). 


Unmold and serve, or place in plastic bags for storage.

Firewater Friday - I can't quite put my finger on it . . .

I heard a news story that a customer at an Arby’s in Michigan bit into their sandwich and got more than roast beef in their bite.  In fact, they were gnawing on a pretty goodly sized chunk of a human finger.

An employee apparently cut her finger on a meat slicer and left her station without immediately telling anyone and her co-workers continued filling orders until they found out what had happened.  Her injury was so severe that she had to be treated at a local hospital.

As gross and disgusting as it is, it’s reasonable to expect that these kinds of accidents will happen.  And, of course they do.  However, it also realistic to assume that when accidents like this occur that management will be notified so that customers don’t end up eating pieces of the employees.

Apparently, these accidental dismemberments escape notice . . . a few years ago, a TGI Friday's customer in Indiana found part of a kitchen worker's finger on his hamburger. And the year before that a man enjoying a TCBY yogurt in North Carolina bit into what he thought was candy in his frozen yogurt only to discover the chewy bit was a piece of finger and not a gummy bear.

 

What’s scary is that of the pieces that are actually found how many slip by and into the digestive tracts of unsuspecting consumers. 

Just sayin’.

Strawberry Vanilla Mojitos

(2 Cocktails)

12 Large Fresh Strawberries

Small Handful of Fresh Mint Leaves

6 Oz Simple Syrup 

4 Oz Vanilla Rum

1 Lime

Club Soda

Simple Syrup:  even amounts of sugar and water, heated until the sugar melts, and cooled to room temperature.

Place strawberries in a blender along with the juice of ½ of lime.   Puree until mostly smooth.

For each drink: place a few mint leaves and an ounce of the simple syrup.  Muddle the ingredients together with the back of a spoon (or a muddler if you have one.) Fill the glass with ice.  Add 2 ounces simple syrup, 2 ounces rum, half of the strawberry puree and the juice of ¼ lime. Pour in enough club soda to fill the glass. Give the mixture a stir, and garnish with mint leaves.

Firewater Friday - I don't always drink hand sanitizer, but when I do I prefer Purell

I remember when I was a teenager and discovering the joys of chugging beer, getting loaded on Mai Tais at the local Chinese restaurant and drinking too many screwdrivers and puking in some random parking lot.

Ah . . . my sweet stupid youth.  Yeah all kids are pretty dumb . . . especially when it comes to drinking alcohol;  moderation doesn't usually factor in.

Kids these days don't seem to be any smarter than I was.  In fact, they may even be more idiotic.  It seems they will do anything to get a buzz.  When I was a teenager it wasn't all that difficult to get my hands on a six pack or a pint.  It must be harder now.  

I recently read a news article about teens getting drunk off hand sanitizer.  You read that right . . . slurping that gel you used to get the germs off your hands.  Apparently, you can get drunk off the stuff but it’s also not safe. Liquid hand sanitizer is 62% ethyl alcohol and makes a 120-proof liquid.  A couple squirts and a kid can get seriously drunk . . . a couple more squirts and they’re in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.  Don’t laugh . . . it happens.  So not only do we have to lock up the liquor but now we have to keep the hand sanitizer under lock and key. 

Quite of few of the kids who are smart enough to manage to get some actual booze in their hands aren’t intelligent enough to ingest it in the natural way . . . you know, by drinking it.

No, they’re coming up with some pretty creative ways to get the buzz without the tell-tale booze breath.

Some are inserting alcohol soaked tampons into their nether regions.  Sometimes called butt chugging . . . uhm . . . yeah. The rapid absorption causes a faster buzz.  A super-plus absorbency tampon can hold 1.5 ounces of liquid . . . which is the equivalent of one shot.  I imagine that it has got to burn like hell to have alcohol in direct contact with your  . . . er . . . sexy parts. 

Others are doing what is known as vodka eyeballing . . . as the name would suggest it is the practice of pouring vodka directly into the eyes.  It’s supposed to give an instant buzz.  It would seem self evident but pouring alcohol in your eye can cause serious damage . . . the resulting chemical burn can cause immediate injury to the cornea and surrounding tissue and repeated applications will continue to degrade the tissues . . . the injury is irreversible.  Is it worth it to go blind for a quick high?  I’d say not.

Imbibing with these unorthodox methods your body cannot not react the way it normally would if too much alcohol is consumed . . . that is, if you drink too much you’re gonna hurl.  There’s no hurling here . . . your body has no outlet other than to metabolize the booze; too much and you’re in the hospital or dead.

Like I said . . . kids are stupid.  I know I most certainly was . . . but I was never THAT dumb.

Coconut Mango Mojito

6-8 Fresh Mint Leaves

2 1/2 Ounces of Mint Simple Syrup

1 Ounce of Coconut Rum

1 1/2 Ounces of Club Soda

1-2 Ounces of Mango Puree

The Juice of One Lime

To make the mango puree, combine 1 peeled and chopped, ripe mango in a food processor (or high speed blender) with the juice of 1 lime, and process until smooth.

In the bottom of a glass, add 1 ounce of simple syrup and the mint leaves. Muddle with a muddler or use the clean bottom of something blunt. Add ice to the glass, and pour rum, syrup, mango puree, lime juice and club soda over top. Mix with a long spoon or knife and serve with an additional sprig of mint.

Mint Simple Syrup

1 Cup Water

1 Cup Sugar

10 Fresh Mint Leaves

Add all ingredients to a small saucepan and heat over medium heat just until it bubbles. Turn down to low for 2 minutes, and then remove from heat and let sit for 15-20 minutes.

Store in the refrigerator in an airtight container until ready to use.

Firewater Friday - Let's call a spade a spade

To call a spade a spade is a way to describe something as it really is.

These days it seems like everything and everybody is called a racist for any little old thing.   I guess it’s simply the way I think but it never occurred to me that this phrase . . . ‘call a spade a spade’ . . . would be considered racially derogatory.  And the fact is . . . it’s NOT.  Or, at least it wasn’t . . .

 

The expression is thousands of years old.  Back when spades were implements to dig the earth and not the symbol on a deck of cards or . . . whatever else.

The original saying derives from the ancient Greek idiom ‘ta syka syka, te:n

skaphe:n de skaphe:n onomasein’  which translates "to call a fig a fig, a trough a

trough".    

Far from being an ethic slur, its thought that this expression was initially a sexual reference . . . a fig and trough being symbolic for . . . well, I don’t think I need to paint you a picture.

Anyhoo . . .

Interestingly, sometime during the Renaissance, ‘trough’ got mistranslated as ‘spade’.    It’s not surprising, considering the ancient Greek for these words are fairly similar . . . skaphe = trough / skapheion = digging tool.

"Spade" in the sense of "negro" is not recorded until 1928 and comes from the color of the playing card symbol, via the phrase ‘black as the ace of spades’.

 

Frankly, I’m sick of tippy-toeing around and tired of political correctness. I think people are way too overly sensitive.  Buck up and get a stiff upper lip . . . every little ol’ thing is not an attack on some other thing.  It’s just not.  Sometimes a spade is just that . . . a spade.

That is all . . . moving on . . . 

Sweet Cream Soda


2 Shots Pinnacle Cake
2  Shots  Pinnacle Whipped
8 oz. Club Soda


Mix in a glass filled with ice and garnish with a cherry.

Firewater Friday - The tower of power, too sweet to be sour, ohhhh yeahh!

Have you ever experienced what could best be described as a puckering of the salivary glands when you eat something?  The pain is right at the very back of the jaw where it hinges with the skull. It feels sort of like the glands going from zero to OMG-here-comes-a-lemon! in half a second.

This pain is usually comes on when the first bite of food hits your tongue and only lasts a couple of seconds.  Sometimes it happens when you smell a certain food or even when you do nothing more than think about it.  

It is commonly, but not necessarily, something sour that causes this reaction.   

This is what that is . . . when you eat something sour your mouth waters.  That is, saliva is being pumped into your mouth by the salivary glands. The parotids, two of your primary salivary glands, are located on your cheeks, near the jaw.  The pain is caused by the inability of the glands to discharge the saliva they are producing quickly enough.

Normally, this is a natural reaction to the foods you are eating.  However, it can also be caused by parotitis, which is a low level inflammation of the gland which most often requires no treatment. 

But I’m not a doctor . . . so what do I know?

Absolut® Orient Apple Vermont


OMG! good . . . very delicious . . . very dangerous!

2 Parts Absolut Orient Apple

1-2 Teaspoons Real Maple Syrup

2 Dashes Bitters

Garnish: Orange Zest

Pour ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice.  Stir and strain into a martini glass. 

The tower of power, too sweet to be sour, ohhhh yeahh!
Macho Man Randy Savage

Firewater Friday - Allow me to ladle you a piping hot bowl of . . .

If a meal is served to me 'piping hot' I know if I gobble it down with utter disregard for its extreme hotness I should do so with full knowledge that it's going to burn the taste-buds from my tongue and scald the flesh from the roof of my mouth.  

Piping hot . . . what does that mean anyway?  A reference to plumbing?  If you’re in the vicinity of a burst steam pipe, it will get your attention  . . . and, I promise, it will hurt.

Nope, that’s not it.  

Does it come from the Scottish tradition of ceremoniously serving food on special occasions accompanied by the playing of the bagpipes?  Certainly that food could be considered 'piped in'.

No, not even close.

What ‘piping hot’ refers to is the sound sizzling hot food makes as steam escapes from it . . . the sound is reminiscent of whistling teakettles and high-pitched musical pipes.

One of the first literary references was from the second of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales - The Miller’s Tale (1390)

Absalom in his attempt to woo Alison . . .

He sang as tremulously as nightingale;

He sent her sweetened wine and well-spiced ale

And waffles piping hot out of the fire . . . 

Now a pipe dream . . . that's a whole other thing. It, too, has nothing whatsoever to do with plumbing or musical Scots.  It has everything to do with pipes . . . opium pipes.

You puff on one of those suckers you'll have dreams like no other . . . pipe dreams, as it were.

Absolut® Orient Apple Breeze

2 Parts Absolut Orient Apple

2 Parts Cranberry Juice

1/2 Part Fresh Pink Grape Juice

Combine all ingredients and pour over rocks in a highball glass.