What ya gonna do with all that junk?

I can't stand advertisements for clothing that supposedly miraculously slim you.  

Why? The women in these ads are skinny. Am I really supposed to believe that the properties of this clothing is so effective that when these women take their clothing off that they they are somehow frumpy blobs of gelatinous flab and cellulite.  

Really??  Unlikely.

I wish I was as "fat" as most of the chicks in these ads.  

Most of these undergarments use spandex and bands for compression . . . these layers add bulk.

Besides, fat is mass.  If you squish it, flatten it or otherwise displace it  . . . it has to go somewhere . . . up, out, wherever.

Sure, you can disguise or compress a small amount of blubber but a big butt is a big butt, thunder thighs are thunderous and belly bulge is just that.

Frankly speaking, the only way to truly look slim is to be thin.  

Speaking of which, I really need to haul my trunk to the gym and ditch some of the junk.