Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, fudge is made.

This is a TMI post  . . . fair warning.

The alarm clock goes off at 5:00 A.M. on workdays.  The first thing I do when I get out of bed is feed the cat . . . because there is no peace in the house if she doesn’t get her noms.   The second thing I do is go to the potty . . . oh stop it, you know you do to; maybe even before you feed your kitty or puppy or gerbil or whatever.

Well, the other morning I woke up way too early with an urgent . . . er . . . need to do a . . . uhm . . . dookie. It would not be denied

So I hauled my ass out of bed  . . . fed the Fuzz . . . and did what it was that I had to do.

And then I got this message from hubby . . .

Yes, yes . . . we IM each other.  Whatever.

Anyhoo . . . that got me to thinking . . . yup even at 5:30 in the morning my brain is a-rockin' and a-rollin.  ANYhoo . . . I was wondering whether it was acceptable in any culture for a spouse to poop on their hunny-bunny.  I didn't find anything referring to that . . . thank God!


I never said I was thinking straight!

But, I found something just about as bad . . . or worse.  Apparently, some poopheads find it okay to take a dump in the shower.  I’m not talking about washing away dingleberries.  I’m talking a full on poop. 

Ask PoopReport: My Very Repulsive Husband

Submitted by Crazydaisy

Yesterday morning I walked in the bathroom and was hit with the stench of poo. I looked in the toilet. Nothing. I looked around the toilet. Nothing. I looked all over the floor. Nothing. So I took some bathroom cleaner and sprayed the whole toilet down and cleaned it; but when I went back later, it was still stinky. I could NOT figure out where the HECK the smell came from. Then, late last night, I happened to glance in the shower and see a small wad of hair (mine, cause I shed) blocking the drain.  I reached down and pulled it up, but it was stuck, so I tugged, and then tugged some more, and then out comes three big balls of poop attached to the hair!!!

I was HORRIFIED!! I threw it back on the shower drain and ran.

I told my husband. He told me (as he was LAUGHING!) that the poop was his. He threw his back out and couldn't reach very good to wipe, so when he took a shower he had danglies and they got washed down the drain.  He took his big toe and pushed them through the drain.

 Except that the residue was way more than a couple of cling-ons.  It looked like he pooped in the shower and then squished it down the drain to dispose of the evidence.

How long has he been doing this??

And yes, there is an actual website called http://www.poopreport.com.  And then I found this poll on http://isitnormal.com:

And then I found this on http://www.experienceproject.com:

Seriously, you can't make this sh!t up!

Just because the shower is in the bathroom, doesn't make it a toilet. Just sayin'.