Mother is a verb, not a noun

My boy is  no longer a little boy, but when he was little he was quite the pipsqueak⁽¹⁾.  He’s never been overly interested in sports or other physical type activities.  When he was about 5 or 6 his father decided that it would be good for him to get involved in something physically challenging and enrolled him in Taekwondo.  I couldn’t particularly argue with that; however, the kid was not at all interested.  Consequently, he did as little as he possible could to progress through the program . . . most of the time just going through the motions and putting in very little effort.

⁽¹⁾Pipsqueak . . . when a bird begins to hatch from an egg, the hole or crack that appears in the shell is called a "pip." The process of emerging from the egg is called "pipping." While still in the egg, the little chick makes squeaking noises. Therefore, a "pipsqueak." Now the word is associated with anyone small and/or insignificant.

So, one day after he’d earned a couple of belts . . . I think he was a green belt by this time . . . I had punished him for doing something or other.  He was like, “I could kick your butt; I know Taekwondo.”  To that I replied, “No matter how big you get or how much Taekwondo you know I’ll always be able to take you out.”  He apparently perceived this as a challenge and proceeded to try to swipe my legs out from under me.  It was pretty much like a breeze pushing against a tree . . . it was almost laughable.  So, I took him out.  I didn’t hurt the kid . . . unless you count his pride . . . I just hooked my foot behind his leg and gave him a little shove and he was flat on his back. 

Needless to say, he never threatened to “kick my butt” again.  Don’t mess with mom!

Moms rule!  Kids drool!  

Soft White Sandwich Bread

2 Cups Warm Water (110 Degrees Fahrenheit)

2/3 Cups White Sugar

1 1/2 Tablespoons Active Dry Yeast

1 1/2 Teaspoons Salt

1/4 Cup Vegetable Oil

6 Cups All-Purpose Bread Flour

Makes two loaves

In a large bowl, dissolve the sugar in the warm water. After the sugar is dissolved, stir in the yeast, and allow the mixture to "proof" until the yeast resembles a creamy foam.

Into the yeast mixture, add the salt and the oil. Gradually mix in the flour, only one cup at a time. On a lightly floured surface, knead the dough until smooth and place in a well oiled bowl, turning the dough to coat. Cover the bowl with a damp cloth and allow to rise until doubled in bulk. This usually takes about one hour.

After the dough has finished rising, knead for a few minutes, and divide in half. If you have a scale, weigh out the pieces to ensure even baking. Shape each piece of dough into a loaf shape, and place them in two well oiled, 9-by-5-inch loaf pans. Allow the dough to rise for 30 more minutes, or until dough has risen about 1 inch above the pans.

Bake the loaves at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 30 minutes, until golden brown on top.

Remove the loaves from the pans and place them on cooling racks.

NOTES FOR KITHEN AID MIXER USERS: Proof your yeast in the mixing bowl then add the oil/salt, then add the flour, approximately one cup at a time, with the dough hook on low speed. Once all the dry ingredients are in come up to medium speed for 5 minutes. Then take the dough out, fold it over on itself to redistribute the yeast, make a ball, and place it back in the same bowl after you drizzle a tablespoon of oil (veggie or olive) and turn the dough to coat evenly. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and then a kitchen towel.

There are a number of tricks if you think your kitchen is too cool. Turn your oven on for 20 seconds and then right off. Put the dough in to rise. I set mine about 4 feet from the stove and turn it once. However, get it over 115 degrees and you'll kill the yeast.