If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys

How do you fix a broken tomato?

Tomato paste!

I have been waiting ever so patiently for the first tomato in our garden to ripen.  It’s finally happened!  Queue the heavenly voices . . . laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 When I was just a wee snip of a girl growing up in Blue Knob Pennsylvania, I remember tending the garden with my mother and picking the sun warmed tomatoes off the vine and chomping on them like apples . . . tomato juices dripping down my arm.  It was heavenly.  Some of the ones that actually made it from the garden into the kitchen were made into “mater sammiches”  . . . squishy white bread, Miracle Whip, sliced tomato, salt and pepper . . . NOM!

While I was picking this first ripened tomato from the garden it occurred to me that I have not had a tomato sandwich in forever and a day.  Maybe longer.

So here I am with this juicy garden fresh tomato . . .

I made my sandwich  . . . a not so gourmet but absolutely yummy ‘mater sammich. Totally nommable!

If you’ve never had a tomato sandwich . . . you should.

Nom . . . nom . . . nom . . . 

One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos"

So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos"

Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said

"Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!